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花都人民医院在哪安助手

2019年10月16日 16:25:13 | 作者:城市大全 | 来源:新华社

According to reports about the Adrian Peterson felony abuse indictment, Peterson’s 4-year-old son pushed another of Peterson’s sons off a game. Peterson then retrieved a tree branch — called a “switch” — stripped off its leaves, shoved leaves into the boy’s mouth and beat him with his pants down until he bled.阿德里安·彼得森(Adrian Peterson)因为殴打孩子而被控以重罪,相关的新闻报道称,彼得森四岁的儿子把他的另一个儿子从游戏机前推开,之后彼得森拿来了一根树枝,他说是“细枝”,扯下了叶子、把叶子塞进儿子嘴里,又把儿子的裤子扒下来殴打,直到出血。According to a CBS affiliate in Houston, Peterson texted the boy’s mother that she would be “mad at me about his legs. I got kinda good wit the tail end of the switch.”CBS旗下的一家休斯顿当地媒体报道称,彼得森给这名男孩的妈妈发短信说,她会“因为孩子的腿跟我生气的。除了那根细枝,我真的没招儿了”。He also reportedly texted that he “felt bad after the fact when I notice the switch was wrapping around hitting I (sic) thigh” and “Got him in nuts once I noticed. But I felt so bad, n I’m all tearing that butt up when needed! I start putting them in timeout. N save the whooping for needed memories!”据报道,他还发短信说,“我感觉有些难受,因为我注意到树枝打到腿上时,裹着腿弯了过去”并且“打到了他蛋蛋上。可是我感觉太生气了,有必要的话,能把他屁股撕烂!我今后要把他们关起来,有必要让他们记住的时候,才会抽鞭子!”But the boy reportedly said, “Daddy Peterson hit me on my face,” that his father “likes belts and switches,” that “there are a lot of belts in Daddy’s closet,” and that he “has a whooping room.”可是根据新闻报道,男孩说,“老爸彼得森打我的脸”,还说他的父亲“喜欢用腰带和树枝”,而且“老爸的柜子里有很多腰带”,他还“有一个抽鞭子的房间”。Spanking is not against the law in America — although some argue that it should be, as it is in Sweden and some other countries — but, as with most things in life, there are degrees beyond which even something that is generally acceptable, or at least legal, crosses a threshold and becomes not so.打屁股在美国并不违反法律,尽管有些人认为,应该像瑞典和其他国家一样,立法禁止。但就像生活中的许多事情一样,超过了一定限度,即使是通常可以接受的事情,或者说至少合法的事情,就会跨过门槛,变得不能接受。This seems, on its face, from what we now know, a case in which the limits have most likely been exceeded.根据我们目前所知的信息,这起案件从表面看来,就是一个超过了限度的例子。Peterson released a statement that , in part:彼得森发布了一份声明,其中写道:“I have to live with the fact that when I disciplined my son the way I was disciplined as a child, I caused an injury that I never intended or thought would happen. I know that many people disagree with the way I disciplined my child. I also understand after meeting with a psychologist that there are other alternative ways of disciplining a child that may be more appropriate.”“我必须承认,我像自己小时候受惩戒那样惩戒自己的儿子时,造成了伤害,这不是我的本意,我也没有料到会发生这种情况。我知道许多人不认同我惩戒自己孩子的方式。在拜访了一名心理学家之后,我也理解了还有其他可能更妥当的方式来惩罚孩子。”It is good that Peterson met with a psychologist and learned alternative disciplinary methods, but that doesn’t heal the child’s wounds, and the fact that Peterson may have been abused in this way does not make it acceptable to pass on the abuse to his own children.彼得森去见了心理学家,还学到了惩戒孩子的新方法,这都很好。但这并不能弥合孩子的创伤,而且即使彼得森被这样虐待过,把这种虐待再传递给自己的孩子也是不可接受的。He continued, setting up an even more dangerous proposition:接着,他又提出了更加危险的看法:“I have learned a lot and have had to re-evaluate how I discipline my son going forward. But deep in my heart I have always believed I could have been one of those kids that was lost in the streets without the discipline instilled in me by my parents and other relatives. I have always believed that the way my parents disciplined me has a great deal to do with the success I have enjoyed as a man. I love my son and I will continue to become a better parent and learn from any mistakes I ever make.”“我学到了很多,而且被迫重新评估了我将来惩戒孩子的方式。但在我内心深处,我一直相信,如果不是我的父母和其他亲属在我身上注入的纪律性,我或许就会成为迷失在街头的那些孩子。我一直相信,我的父母惩戒我的方法,与我成人之后取得的成功有很大的关系。我爱我的儿子,会继续努力做一个更好的父亲,也会从我犯的错误中吸取教训。”When we promulgate the notion that our success is directly measurable to the violence visited on our bodies as children, we reinforce a societal supposition that pain is an instrument of love, and establish a false binary between the streets and the strap.当我们宣扬这样的观念,说我们在儿时经受过的暴力,是和自己的成功存在直接关联的,我们等于在强化一种社会臆想:痛苦是示爱的途径,从而建立街头和皮鞭这种错误的一一对应关系。I take Peterson at his word that he loves his son, but the drawing of blood isn’t an expression of love. Love doesn’t look like that. That looks like an expression of anger and exasperation that morphs into abuse.我就暂且相信彼得森说的话,即他是爱儿子的,但让他们流血不是爱意的表达。爱不是那样的。那看起来是在表达愤怒和懊恼,最终变异成虐待。I understand the reasoning that undergirds much of this thinking about spanking: Better to feel the pain of being punished by someone in the home who loves you than by someone outside the home who doesn’t.我明白在这种打屁股式责罚的背后是怎样的动机:在家里被爱你的人惩罚,感受其痛苦,总比在外面被不爱你的人惩罚要好。But that logic simply doesn’t hold up.但这个逻辑根本说不通。As the nonpartisan research group Child Trends pointed out in a report last year:无党派研究机构“孩子趋势”(Child Trends)在去年的一份报告中提出:“Use of corporal punishment is linked to negative outcomes for children (e.g., delinquency, antisocial behavior, psychological problems, and alcohol and drug abuse), and may be indicative of ineffective parenting. Research also finds that the number of problem behaviors observed in adolescence is related to the amount of spanking a child receives. The greater the age of the child, the stronger the relationship.“体罚的使用和孩子成长的负面结果存在关联(比如少年犯罪、反社会行为、心理问题、酒精和毒品滥用),可能表明了家长失职。研究还发现在青春期观察到的问题行为和受到责打的情况相关。孩子的年龄越大,这种关联越明显。“Positive child outcomes are more likely when parents refrain from using spanking and other physical punishment, and instead discipline their children through communication that is firm, reasoned and nurturing. Studies find this type of discipline can foster positive psychological outcomes, such as high self-esteem and cooperation with others, as well as improved achievement in school.”“当父母停止使用打屁股和其他体罚,转而通过坚决、有理和关爱的沟通加以管教时,更有可能出现正面的成长结果。研究发现这种类型的管教可以培育出正面的心理结果,比如更强的自尊心,愿意与他人协作,在学校的表现也有改善。”The group also pointed out just how pervasive the practice is:该机构还提到了体罚行为的普遍程度:“In 2012, according to a nationally representative survey, 77 percent of men, and 65 percent of women 18 to 65 years old agreed that a child sometimes needs a ‘good hard spanking.’ ”“据一项全国性调查显示,2012年,在18到65岁的人中,有77%的男性和65%的女性认为,有时候在孩子‘屁股上狠狠来几下’是有必要的。”The group continued:该机构接着说:“One of the most frequently used strategies to discipline a child, especially a younger child, is spanking. About 94 percent of parents of children ages 3 to 4 in the ed States report having spanked their children in the previous year.”“在管教孩子的策略中,最常使用的是打屁股,尤其是针对较年幼的孩子。有约94%的美国3到4岁孩子父母曾在之前一年里打过孩子屁股。”Spanking is an age-old disciplinary technique, so turning the tide against it may be difficult. Some people even argue that it’s a necessary tool in a parent’s arsenal of options.打屁股是一种古老的管教手法,因此要扭转这种风气并非易事。有人甚至认为,作为父母有必要把这作为一种备选的手段。I think we need to reconsider that.我认为这事我们需要三思。Peterson also texted the boy’s mother: “Never do I go overboard! But all my kids will know, hey daddy has the biggie heart but don’t play no games when it comes to acting right.” Actually, Peterson did go overboard, and now the legal system will decide if and how he will be punished for it.彼得森还给孩子的妈妈发短信说:“我从来不会过头!但我的孩子都得知道,他们这个爹心宽,可在学做人的事上不是闹着玩的。”事实上彼得森是过头了,现在法律会决定他是否以及如何为此受到惩罚。 /201409/332613

China#39;s love affair with the Oreo is crumbling.中国人对奥利奥(Oreo)的锺爱之情正逐渐减弱。Mondelez International Inc., the maker of Oreo cookies, Cadbury chocolates and Ritz crackers, announced Wednesday that its revenue was down in the fourth quarter and for the full year in part because China#39;s appetite for the crème-filled sandwich cookie fell. Distributors had excess biscuit inventory, Mondelez reported.奥利奥曲奇、吉百利(Cadbury)巧克力和乐之(Ritz)饼干的生产商亿滋国际(Mondelez International Inc., MDLZ)周三公布,第四财政季度及整个财政年度的收入都有所下滑,部分原因是中国人对奥利奥夹心饼干的偏好下降。亿滋国际报告说,分销商的饼干库存过剩。Oreo has been one of the country#39;s most popular cookie brands since it launched in China in 1996, with Mondelez holding the largest market share in China#39;s biscuit segment at 16%, according to market-research firm Euromonitor International. Cookie sales in China have more than tripled from 2003 to 50.4 billion yuan, or roughly .3 billion, last year.奥利奥于1996年进入中国市场,它已经发展成为中国最受欢迎的饼干品牌之一。据市场研究机构欧睿国际(Euromonitor International)的数据,亿滋国际在中国饼干市场的占有率最高,达到16%。2013年中国的曲奇饼干销售额较2003年增长了两倍多,达到人民币504亿元(约合83亿美元)。But industry watchers say China is one tough cookie, and Mondelez is facing bigger obstacles to growth here.但业内观察人士说,中国是一块硬骨头,亿滋国际要想在中国实现进一步增长会面临更大阻力。Consumers in the world#39;s most populous country are curious and willing to try out new things, but that means as more brands enter the market, there are more snacks to distract them from Oreos, said Ben Cavender, a senior analyst at consultancy China Market Research in Shanghai.总部设在上海的咨询公司China Market Research高级分析师凯文德(Ben Cavender)说,中国这一世界人口最多国家的消费者很好奇且愿意尝试新事物,但这意味着,随着更多品牌进入中国市场,更多零食出现,会分散消费者对奥利奥的兴趣。Mr. Cavender said most companies are finding that Chinese consumers bore easily, so it#39;s key for food makers to innovate and introduce new brands. #39;You have to keep the market constantly hooked,#39; he said, noting that changing the packaging often isn#39;t enough.凯文德称,大多数企业都发现,中国消费者很容易对某种商品产生厌倦,因此对食品生产企业来说,创新和推出新品牌很重要。他还表示,企业必须确保市场上不断有能够吸引消费者的产品出现,只改变包装通常是不够的。Mondelez has been broadening its distribution channels, expanding deeper into China#39;s biggest cities and working with well-known figures such as former basketball star Yao Ming to promote its brands. The company has also been innovating, stocking store shelves with mini-Oreos, Ritz crackers and Chips Ahoy cookies in portable cuplike packages that resemble ramen-noodle containers. There are also more flavors in China than ever before, including green tea and birthday confetti.亿滋国际一直在拓展其分销渠道,不断向中国大城市深入扩张,并与中国前篮球明星姚明等知名人士合作,以期提高品牌知名度。此外,该公司也一直在创新,货架上到处可见杯状便携包装的迷你奥利奥、乐之饼干和趣多多饼干。这种包装与桶装方便面类似。而且中国市场上的口味也比以前多,包括绿茶和生日糖果等。Consumers like Zhou Mengmeng, who says she#39;s stopped buying Oreos because she doesn#39;t think they#39;re healthy, pose another problem. Ms. Zhou, a petite 24-year-old from central Henan province, said Chinese people who ate a lot of packaged food several years ago have stopped. #39;We just didn#39;t know they weren#39;t that good for you,#39; Ms. Zhou said, noting that she#39;s since switched to eating more fruit.周萌萌(音)说,她已不再买奥利奥了,因为觉得不健康。像她这样的消费者构成了另一项挑战。这个24岁的来自河南省的娇小女生说,中国人几年前吃了很多包装食品,现在已经不吃了。她说,我们以前不知道那些东西对人那么不好。自从知道以后她就吃水果比较多了。Mondelez executives have said they are aware that Chinese consumers are becoming more health-conscious. To address that concern, the company developed a cracker line, Pacific, with flavors such as sesame and red date are typically associated with health and traditional Chinese medicine.亿滋国际的高管说,他们意识到中国消费者开始更加注重健康。为解决这一问题,该公司开发出了Pacific饼干条,有芝麻和枣泥等口味,这两种食品一般都被认为是健康、传统的中国食品。Some other international biscuit makers are gaining ground in China, such as Korea#39;s Orion Confectionery Co., which sells Choco Boy mushroom-shaped biscuits and the Choco Pie sandwich snacks, and Japan#39;s Ezaki Glico Co., maker of the Pocky multi-flavored chocolate-coated pretzel sticks. Orion boosted its share of the fragmented market to 2.8% last year, up from 1.3% in 2008, according to Euromonitor. Ezaki#39;s market share rose to 2.6% from 1.7% in the same period, according to Euromonitor.其它一些国际饼干生产商正在中国站稳脚跟,如出售蘑菇状饼干Choco Boy和三明治快餐Choco Pie的韩国企业Orion Confectionery Co.,以及生产多种口味巧克力棒百奇(Pocky)的日本企业Ezaki Glico Co.。欧睿国际统计,Orion在这个零散市场的占有率从2008年1.3%增至去年的2.8%,同期Ezaki的市场占有率从1.7%增至2.6%。Mondelez reported a profit of .77 billion, or a share, in the fourth quarter, up from 9 million, or 32 cents a share, a year earlier. The company has said it is investing in emerging markets like Brazil and China, as well as restructuring to improve cost structure.亿滋国际公布,第四财季实现利润17.7亿美元,合每股收益1美元,上年同期利润为5.69亿美元,合每股收益32美分。该公司表示,将投资巴西和中国等新兴市场,并进行重组以改善成本结构。 /201402/275804

It is a quandary every couple with children eventually faces: Should we fight in front of the kids?对有孩子的夫妻终将面临这样的问题:我们该不该在孩子面前吵架?The answer is complicated. Child psychologists who study the issue tend to say yes -- if parents can manage to argue in a healthy way. That means disagreeing respectfully and avoiding name-calling, insults, dredging up past infractions or storming off in anger, for starters.不是那么简单。研究这个问题的儿童心理学家往往会回答“该”──如果父母能够做到合理争吵的话。合理争吵,首先是求同存异,并避免扣帽子、侮辱对方、提旧事或发飙。#39;Kids are going to have disagreements with their friends, their peers, co-workers, #39; says Patrick Davies, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. #39;If they don#39;t witness disagreements and how they are handled in constructive ways, they are not well-equipped to go out into the world and address inevitable conflict.#39;罗切斯特大学(University of Rochester)心理学教授帕特里克·戴维斯(Patrick Davies)说:“孩子们将会跟他们的朋友、同伴、同事产生分歧,如果他们没有见过分歧以及分歧的建设性处理方式,那么他们就不能做好足够的准备去闯荡世界,去处理不可避免的冲突。”Dr. Davies and fellow researchers found that #39;constructive#39; marital conflict was associated with an increase in children#39;s emotional security, in their study of 235 families with children ages 5 to 7 published in 2009 in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry. Other studies have linked constructive marital conflict with the healthy development of children#39;s problem-solving and coping skills and even happiness.戴维斯士和其他一些研究人员研究了235户有五到七岁孩子的家庭,研究结果于2009年发表在《儿童心理学和精神病学杂志》(Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry)上。他们发现,“建设性”的婚内冲突与儿童情绪安全感的增加存在关联。其他一些研究也曾发现,建设性婚内冲突与儿童问题解决与应对能力、甚至幸福感的健康发展之间存在关联。A growing awareness of how and where to fight with a spouse when kids are involved is being spurred in part by a proliferation of research linking children#39;s exposure to a lot of unhealthy marital conflict -- characterized by hostility, threats and insults -- with a greater risk of anxiety disorders, depression and behavior problems. Also, a generation of young parents who grew up as kids of divorce in the 1970s and 1980s are now scrutinizing how their parents fought. Some vow to do things differently with their own progeny.在牵扯到孩子的时候怎样与配偶争吵、在哪里争吵的问题之所以越来越受重视,原因之一就在于许多研究发现,儿童经受过大量不健康婚内冲突(以敌对、威胁、侮辱为特点)与焦虑症、抑郁症、行为问题风险增加之间存在关联。另外,20世纪70年代、80年代成长于离婚家庭的年轻一代父母现在也在探究他们上一辈的争吵方式。一些人发誓将以不同的方式对待自己的后代。Even infants can be affected by angry disagreements -- even when they#39;re asleep. A study published in May in the journal Psychological Science took 24 babies from 6- to 12-months-old and exposed them to various tones of voice (very angry, mildly angry, happy and neutral) while they were lying asleep in an fMRI scanner. Those infants in families with higher levels of conflict between spouses had elevated responses in parts of the brain associated with reactions to stress and emotion regulation when exposed to the very angry voices during the study. Babies #39;are still sensitive to things even when they#39;re asleep, #39; says Alice Graham, a doctoral candidate in psychology at the University of Oregon and lead author of the study. #39;The idea of it being a time to let loose when infants are asleep is probably not accurate.#39;甚至婴儿都有可能受到愤怒争吵的影响──哪怕是在睡着的时候。今年5月《心理科学》(Psychological Science)上发表了一项研究的论文,该研究选取了24名六至12个月大的婴儿,把他们放在功能性磁共振成像扫描仪里面,在他们睡着的时候将他们暴露于各种语调(非常愤怒的、比较愤怒的、快乐的、中性的)之中。在夫妻冲突程度更高的家庭中,婴儿大脑与应激反应和情绪管理有关的区域在研究期间暴露于非常愤怒的声音时反应更大。论文牵头作者、俄勒冈大学(University of Oregon)心理学士生艾丽丝·格雷厄姆(Alice Graham)说:“即便是在睡着的时候,婴儿对事物也是敏感的。认为在婴儿睡着时可以随心所欲的观点恐怕是不准确的。”Still, beyond universal agreement against physical confrontation, opinions vary on the right approach. Some experts say parents should keep arguments away from children because it#39;s just too hard to fight well. #39;If [parents] are going to have disagreements, they should do that in private as much as possible, #39; says Thomas McInerny, president of the American Academy of Pediatrics. #39;It is the rare instance when [couples] can keep it rational and keep it calm.#39;但在普遍赞同不要搞肢体冲突之外,对于应该怎样争吵,大家各有各的看法。有些专家说,父母不应在孩子面前吵架,因为把架吵好真的很难做到。美国儿科学会(American Academy of Pediatrics)会长托马斯·麦金纳尼(Thomas McInerny)说:“如果(父母)之间要发生争论,那么他们就应该尽量私下进行。在争论时是很难保持理性、保持平静的。”How to keep things from getting too heated for little eyes and ears? Child psychologist Kirsten Cullen Sharma suggests that parents agree in advance on an anger cutoff point for arguments. On an anger scale of one to 10, she asks individuals to define the number when they feel they start to yell, curse or generally lose control. (For one person, it could be a five. For another, it could be a seven.) During a disagreement, when Mom or Dad hits the cutoff number, the couple tables the argument to a time when the kids are asleep or aren#39;t around. Either party can say when the other person has reached that limit.怎样防止火药味在幼小的眼睛和耳朵面前变得过于浓重?儿童心理学家科尔斯滕·卡伦(Kirsten Cullen)提议,父母亲应当事先讲好在愤怒情绪达到什么程度时停止争吵。她要求人们按10分制给自己的愤怒程度打分,确定在达到哪个分数的时候,他们觉得就要开始吼叫、咒骂,或者宽泛地说是要失去控制。(这个人可能是五,那个人可能是七。)争论期间,当妈妈或爸爸的愤怒程度达到应该停止争吵的那个数字时,两人就把这次争吵推到孩子睡着的时候或不在身边的时候。不管是哪一个人达到了这个极限,对方都可以指出。#39;One of the great skills parents can offer their children is conflict resolution. That helps [kids] in their future relationships, #39; says Dr. Cullen Sharma, co-director of the early childhood clinical service at the Child Study Center at NYU Langone Medical Center.纽约大学朗格尼医学中心(NYU Langone Medical Center)儿童研究中心(Child Study Center)负责幼儿临床务的联席主任卡伦·夏尔玛(Cullen Sharma)说:“冲突的化解是父母能给孩子的好技能之一。这有利于孩子将来的人际关系。”Caroline Rheinfrank and Chopper Bernet have an unofficial five-minute time limit for disagreements in front of their three children, ages 15, 14 and 11. #39;Now that they are older, they comprehend more, #39; says Ms. Rheinfrank, a stay-at-home mother in Los Angeles. Or as Mr. Bernet, an actor, explains, #39;Parents need timeouts, too.#39; The couple also tries to prevent potential blowups by cutting each other extra slack during times with high bicker potential, including while in the car and just before dinner.洛杉矶的卡罗琳·莱因弗兰克(Caroline Rheinfrank)和乔珀·贝尼特(Chopper Bernet)有三个孩子,分别是15岁、14岁和11岁,莱因弗兰克是一位全职太太,贝尼特是一名演员。两人之间对于在孩子面前的争吵有一个不成文的五分钟限制。莱因弗兰克说:“他们长大了,所以懂得更多了。”或者像贝尼特所说的,“当父母的也需要叫暂停”。在吵架可能性较高的时候(包括开车时或晚饭前),夫妻两人还会多宽容对方一些,以防发火。Parents should use their kids#39; reaction during a fight as a guide, experts say. A crying child is an obvious sign to end an argument. But there are more subtle cues that a kid is distressed, Dr. Davies says. #39;When they start freezing, they are stuck still for a few seconds, that is a really negative sign that they feel like they are in extreme danger, #39; he says. Other kids tend to #39;slump over, lethargic, and look like they are sort of depressed.#39;专家说,父母在争吵期间应当以孩子的反应为指引。孩子哭泣,是明白无误地说明应该要停止争吵。但戴维斯士说,有些更加细微的迹象也说明孩子情绪不好。他说:“当他们开始发愣,愣上几秒钟,那其实是一种负面征兆,说明他们觉得自己是处在一种极度的危险之中。”他说,另一些孩子往往是“没精打采地一屁股坐下,像是有些抑郁一样”。Some kids misbehave to try to distract parents from the conflict. Other children attempt to insert themselves and try to mediate or take sides. All of these are signs that an argument needs to be put on hold, Dr. Davies says.有些孩子通过胡作非为来转移父母注意力以结束冲突。有些孩子则是试图介入争吵,希望调解或站队。戴维斯士说,这些都说明争吵应当暂停。It is not OK to drag kids into a parental fight or encourage them to take sides, Dr. Cullen Sharma says. And don#39;t be fooled if a teen appears nonchalant about his parents#39; below-the-belt fighting: #39;They roll their eyes, but that does not make it less painful, #39; says Alan E. Kazdin, director of the Yale Parenting Center and a professor of psychology and child psychiatry at Yale University.卡伦·夏尔玛士说,把孩子拖入父母的争吵当中或鼓励他们站队,都是不可以的。另外,在十几岁的孩子看上去对父母亲的过火争吵显得漠不关心的时候,不要被表象蒙蔽了。耶鲁大学(Yale University)心理学与儿童精神病学教授、耶鲁育儿研究中心(Yale Parenting Center)主任艾伦·卡兹丁(Alan E. Kazdin)说:“他们翻白眼,但这样做并不能减轻痛苦。”Making sure kids see some kind of resolution to the argument is crucial, Dr. Kazdin says. #39;Is there a nice makeup period and mundane chatter? Routine kind of banter will greatly alleviate the child#39;s anxiety, #39; he says. This doesn#39;t mean that the conflict has to be solved. You may just decide to settle it later or agree to disagree. And even more critical, Dr. Kazdin says, is what goes on in the marital relationship during non-conflict times. #39;The proportion of fighting to affectionate talk is the issue, #39; he says.卡兹丁士说,确保让孩子看到争论得到了某种形式的解决,是至关重要的。他说:“有没有一个很好的和好时间段,有没有拉家常?有个固定的说笑和解程序将会大大减轻孩子的焦虑感。”这并不是说冲突一定要解决,你们完全可以决定以后解决或求同存异。卡兹丁士说,更加重要的是非冲突时期的婚姻关系。他说:“关键在于争吵相对于温馨谈话的比例。”Georgi and Rick Silverman have decided not to hide arguments -- often about the division of household labor or Mr. Silverman#39;s weekend sports viewing -- from their kids, ages 9 and 3. But they also make sure the children see them make up. #39;We#39;ll hold hands and he#39;ll hug me and we#39;ll say we love each other, #39; says Ms. Silverman, a stay-at-home mother in Houston. #39;Even if I#39;m a little upset, I want the kids to know, #39;I still love your Mom and I#39;m not going anywhere, #39; #39; says Mr. Silverman, the chief financial officer of a facilities-maintenance business, whose parents divorced when he was 13.休斯敦的杰奥尔吉·西尔弗曼(Georgi Silverman)和里克·西尔弗曼(Rick Silverman)已经决定不对九岁、三岁的两个孩子隐瞒争吵(常常是关于谁做家务或里克周末看体育比赛的事情)。但他们也会确保孩子们看到他们和好。杰奥尔吉是一位全职母亲,里克是一家设备维修公司的首席财务长,13岁的时候父母就离婚了。杰奥尔吉说:“我们会手拉手,他会拥抱我,我们会说我们爱着对方。”里克说:“我即使有些不高兴,也要让孩子知道‘我仍然爱着你们的妈妈,哪里也不会去’。”Bottling up anger and giving a spouse the cold shoulder when the kids are around can end up making things worse. The silent treatment is actually more distressing for kids than a healthy argument, Dr. Davies says. #39;Kids pick up on that. But they don#39;t know what is going on, #39; he says, adding that children may think the fight -- and its potential consequences -- are much worse than they actually are.在孩子面前压住怒火给配偶冷脸,可能会使情况变得更糟。戴维斯士说,打冷战实际上比合理争吵更让孩子不安。他说,“孩子们会注意到,只是不知道是怎么回事。”他还说,这样的话,孩子们对争吵及其潜在后果的判断可能比实际情况严重得多。 /201310/261912

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